Relationship Breakup Advice to Rekindle Your Love

This article, relationship breakup advice to rekindle your love, is going to be a bit different because it's not about reversing a breakup, instead it's about preventing one, or more importantly, it's about rekindling your love, enthusiasm and excitement that you both once had for each other. It seems to be a modern trait that more and more couples struggle with their intimate relationships.

There is little trouble in the beginning when hormones are fueling the flames of passion, it's a couple of years down the road, when the initial infatuation has subsided and been replaced by a more caring and loving interaction, that the real problems begin. This seems to be a make or break time for some couples, where either the relationship flourishes or goes into decline. Yet other couples survive this transition and it's many years later when a gradual loss of love and enthusiasm for each other takes it's toll.

So, why is it that couples experience a love and commitment that grows and others get stuck in a relationship doomed to end up loveless? Once the love has evaporated, can it be rekindled? Can the excitement and passion be found once again? Will some breakup advice to reclaim your ex help you?

Most couples, when asked what they're looking for in a long term intimate relationship, respond with love, trust, passion, happiness and a healthy sex life. Also, most couples in a loveless long term relationship don't want to breakup, they would rather restore their feelings and desires for one another if they could, they simply don't know how.

There's a huge proportion of marriages end in divorce, around fifty percent, with infidelity as the chief reason followed by abuse. It's been reported that over two thirds of men and over one third of women have been unfaithful at least once during their marriage.

Men need two things from their partner, they need to feel appreciated for their abilities, and they need to feel desired.

Women on the other hand, want to feel important and nurtured, and they also want to feel desired.

I'm going to generalize a bit just to illustrate an important point.

A man's reaction, when his essential needs are not being met, is either to shut down emotionally, ie brood, or to seek approval elsewhere. In other words, he stops looking inwards to the relationship and starts looking outwards instead. His search for acceptance and approval needn't always be with the opposite sex, very often it's with friends, he spends more and more time with pursuits that do not involve his spouse in any way.

A woman's response to this because her needs are not being met, she will no longer feel cherished and an important part of his life, is to shut off  affection and turn on a controlling aspect to try and force the issue.

Either can happen first, and often they happen simultaneously over a period of time. The point is, it's really a lack of communication. When either partner shuts off emotionally, effective communication stops. When both partners are holding back emotionally, there is little chance of any improvement and more likely a continued deterioration in their relationship.

There is a way to turn this round though.

The emphasis so far has been on each partner individually, the relationship, the very thing that makes them a couple, has been ignored completely by both of them. This gives us the key that will allow them to rekindle their love for each other.

A certain amount of vulnerability is essential in a good relationship and helps to encourage effective communication by allowing truth and honesty to flourish. Also, being vulnerable encourages a sympathetic response.

Everyone has vulnerabilities, which most people try to hide. These can consist of hopes, fears, desires, feelings, unwanted thoughts or emotions, uncontrolled responses to certain situations, likes or dislikes. They can be triggered within the relationship or completely outside of it.

When you share these deep insights with each other, the intimacy experienced can be quite profound and the result is to draw you both closer in a deeper and more loving level. You are now feeding your relationship rather than each other. The relationship itself is now taking center stage, it's becoming the focus of your attention.

The key to good communication is good listening, listen to each other. When someone is being honest with you and giving you a peak into their soul, it's hard not to listen attentively, the way you did when at the beginning of your relationship.

When one partner leaves the relationship for someone new, it's because they can get someone more able or willing to listen, more willing to understand, more passionate, alive and sexy.

If you can do that for each other, there will no longer be any reason to breakup. A good way to kick this off is to talk about sex, again, being brutally honest will reveal vulnerabilities that will both excite and draw you closer together.

Good healthy and effective communication can be very enlightening, it can also be arousing leading to passion, vitality, and dynamic sex.  In fact, good communication skills is essential in any long term intimate relationship. When communication breaks down, she ends up feeling ignored and unheard, he feels unappreciated and unacknowledged for what he does, so both feel completely unloved.  When you are not feeling loved, then you are not feeling turned on to your partner.  Good communication creates interest, love, passion and intimacy.

Use this relationship breakup advice to rekindle your love by being a good, caring, listener and encourage your partner to do the same. It's likely that you've not fallen out of love, just stopped communicating intimately with each other. Don't be afraid to appear vulnerable, it's essential that you do. Remember to give, don't just take.