"Why does my ex avoid me?" Such a simple question, but some careful scrutiny shows it to be a bit more complicated.[sc name="picright"]
Breakups themselves are more complicated than we realize.
There are two people involved when a relationship is ended. While it's true that the one being dumped usually comes off the worse, the one breaking up the relationship does not go unscathed either.
Lots of emotions come into play, like:
- Feeling guilt. For having caused you, their ex, so much heartache and confusion.
- Panic, they are usually uncertain if they really have made the right decision about dumping you.
- Looking bad to their friends and family, especially if they liked, and got on well with, you as well.
- And... fear.
Fear of being alone again. Fear of the future, all the hopes and plans you made together have suddenly vanished for them as well.
And fear of... you!
The truth is that they can't trust how you will act around them. They are scared of what you may do.[sc name="sidead"]
- They don't want you to become some kind of stalker.
- They don't want to have to explain, all over again, why you split up.
- They don't want to be embarrassed by you making a scene in public.
- They don't want you to convince them to take you back and rekindle your relationship.
That last one is a tough one, because they are not completely convinced that they made the right decision to breakup with you. They really fear their own ability not to give in and get back together with you. It's a genuine fear none the less.
If you've...
